I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize