are you still at the devil's house?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
