You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
