there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
