so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
