at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
