party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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