This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
