"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
