ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize