No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had to cum in my sink.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
