I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
