i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
