I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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