Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize