she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have post one night stand depression
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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