Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
