I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
