we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
