Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
