Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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