Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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