I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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