The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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