You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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