I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
