I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
