Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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