Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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