I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize