Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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