you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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