Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
