3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
