he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
