You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize