Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
