After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
