When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize