I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
