So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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