You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Randomize
