I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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