I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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