i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
