The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
