"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
