i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
In America we eat man semen.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
