She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
