yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My bed smells like the plague
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
