i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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