Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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