At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
