My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
