i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
