WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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