We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
