I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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