I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
